Yesterday ended up being such a surprise, that I felt a follow-up post is in order.
After posting about depression, I literally felt a little weight lift in my heart and some happiness take it’s place. I felt like smiling–in earnest. It was like a glimmer of hope in that moment. Then Lane came home for lunch, and we started heating up some soup and making sandwiches, and the happiness started to grow. By the end of our lunch and as the day carried on, I felt such a lifting of my spirits that I was so surprised. I decided to just keep smiling and moving through my day. I made it happily through the rest of the day, interacting with my family and others as if I felt completely normal, and indeed, I felt so close to normal! It was fabulous!
All day we needed groceries. I was trying to get up the gumption to go. Sometimes it’s the little things that loom so dauntingly when dealing with depression. It was pouring rain and cold and getting later by the minute. But I had to pick up Anna from playing at a friend’s home, and we really needed some fruit for the morning, so I took her with me at that late hour to the store, and we ended up getting a cart full–all of the things we needed for the week with everyone coming home. And Lane picked up a few things at Costco for us at the same time. I felt so thankful!
We made it through the check-out lane and were just about to finish the transaction when I noticed that the young man behind us had a carton of lactose-free milk in his groceries. “Rats!” I said out loud, “I forgot to get Lactose-free milk!”
That UVU boy offered without missing a beat, “I’ll go get some for you!” And so he did. He ran to the back of the store and brought me back two. It was, along with all of the other tender mercies of the day, icing on the cake.
Not to be excluded is Anna, who held her umbrella over the groceries, helped load them in that pouring rain, and took the cart back for me! We chatted and laughed together as we shopped, loaded, and drove home.
I walked in the door with our groceries to see a Kneader’s loaf of pumpkin bread on my counter from my visiting teachers. I hadn’t said anything to them. That loaf was a wonderful addition to our dinner (it was our FHE treat).
We ate a delicious meal (Chicken Fiesta, thanks to Eliza’s help) and had a cozy FHE together in front of the fire. I told them children how the Savior had helped me and what a miracle the day had been: to wake up completely depressed and go to bed feeling almost totally normal! Honestly, I felt so loved by heaven and others.
This morning I woke up at 1:55 am and couldn’t get back to sleep until about 3 hours later, when I slept for 15 minutes and then woke up hungry. Lane brought me a piece of toast and I was able to fall back asleep right away, sleeping for another almost 3 hours–which means I got almost 7 hours total instead of almost 4. Talk about grateful!
And just as I was writing this, not knowing what I was writing about on my computer, one of my daughters brought me a piece of toast.
See what I mean? I am surrounded by angels: a whole family and community of them.