This morning I have to pause to record two Golden Moments before I carry on with my day. If I don’t, I may forget them, as life’s busyness has a way of erasing them (temporarily) from my mind. Writing them down is kind of like…
Month: July 2015
I just finished reading Big Red, and what a lovely feeling of satisfaction I have from this story. (It sure took me a long time! I thought in July that I’d be able to cruise through several books–and my family, too–but we’ve been as busy as…
On Sunday we met at Family Council to discuss a change in the way we account on our daily load (jobs/home responsibilities). I announced that we will NO LONGER use job charts (cheers!). I won’t be paying them for each little job they do to earn the money for their clothes. The only reminder they would get, in fact, for what they are supposed to be doing is this little laminated table top tri-fold, that they see at meals (or in between, if they want help remembering. They still can use their load jars or job charts for reminders or tools if they want, but I’m not going to be checking those tools).
We still expect them to do all of their load every day (M-Sat).
We also expect them to do anything in addition to the load that we ask.
So how are we having our children account for their assignments?
We explained that they will get to account (out loud) to Dad each night at dinner. (If Dad’s not home, they will account to Mom or to Dad over the phone.) If they need correction, he will discuss that privately with the child after dinner or some other time. I will go visit each child before bed for a little “It was good” chat (Moses 2:31) to allow them to share what they felt they did that was good that day, and I can share something(s) that I saw that they did that were good that day.
It was really great to be able to discuss these changes, answer questions and concerns, and generally discuss what we expect and why we have chosen each part of “the load.” Everyone seemed to be OK with the new plan.
After only 3 days, things feel better in our home–at least to me. (I’ll get some more feedback next Sunday.) I feel better about what my children are doing, and from what I can see, they seem to be more motivated and willing to report. I am excited to see what fruits this change brings. I’ll try to remember to let you know!
I really missed listening to books, so I resubscribed at a special price to be able to use Audible again. Listening to books is a great way for me to keep reading when I don’t always have time to sit down and read. I listen when I work, exercise, or try to get back to sleep–when it’s too early for me to get up. (I can often fall asleep before the 15-minute sleep timer is up–I LOVE that!)
Today, as I turned on this book, The Lessons of History by Will and Ariel Durant, I heard a part that is worth sharing. It reminds me of why the recent Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage will have such a negative impact on society. One of the consequences of legalizing same-gender marriage is that it will appear to justify immorality, and I believe the people who will suffer the most will be our children and youth. It is a lie to say that doing wrong is or will feel right, particularly when it comes to how we use or abuse their powers of procreation and physical intimacy. There is so much joy and enjoyment to be had in using those gifts as God intended, and so much sorrow when we abuse them. You don’t even need a social science study or history lesson to teach you that (although you can find them if you look). If you have ever been connected to anyone who has abused their gift, you know that it hurts.
Will and Ariel Durant devoted their lives to the study of history and civilization (or lack thereof). They wrote volumes about it. This book summarizes their studies. I want to read it when I am done listening to it to get the most out of it. Here is what they wrote that I heard this morning:
No man, however brilliant or well-informed, can come in one lifetime to such fullness of understanding as to safely judge and dismiss the customs or institutions of his society, for these are the wisdom of generations after centuries of experiment in the laboratory of history. A youth boiling with hormones will wonder why he should not give full freedom to his sexual desires; and if he is unchecked by custom, morals, or laws, he may ruin his life before he matures sufficiently to understand that sex is a river of fire that must be banked and cooled by a hundred restraints if it is not to consume in chaos both the individual and the group. (12:08, Chapter 2, Audible edition)
(Note: This book is available at the OPL. Also, I knew I had heard this quote before. I searched and found it in Elder Holland’s talk, “Personal Purity.”)
In that same stream of thought, here is a video that my daughter posted on Facebook recently:
Our lesson today in Relief Society prompted me to do some self-evaluation: what kind of worker am I these days? What kind of example am I setting for my children? How am I really doing?
Motherhood goes through different stages. I was a very hard worker when the children were younger. Having seven children in 12 years makes for a lot of good work. Continuing to maintain a household with a large family also provides many great opportunities for good work. But what do my children see me doing now?
I decided to ask my children what kind of worker they perceive me to be: a sort-of hard worker, a sometimes hard worker, a mostly hard worker, or a very hard worker. I’m still gathering data. Hmmm. Interesting responses. I definitely think the lesson today was a bit of a wake-up call and a reminder that working hard feels good and teaches much more than just telling a child to work hard. I’ll have to let you now what I learn.