Brr: Small victories
That’s how I feel about piles sometimes.
I LOVE cleanliness. I wouldn’t say that I am OCD about it, but I would say that I do respond mentally and emotionally to cleanliness. When a room is clean, my spirit feels lighter. When piles arise that I have to clean day after day or week after week, I get easily discouraged.
I have tried a lot of different routes to try to train myself and my family members to not create piles. Alas, we are still learning.
I often wilt in front of a pile. So silly! I have cleaned up hundreds, maybe thousands of piles in my life time! But somehow that pile just can be a temporary nemesis to action.
On the day of this pile, I wanted to sew instead of clean. I was going to. I had resolved to. But because the rest of the week had been not so productive, do to how I was feeling physically and emotionally, and because it was my first day starting to feel normal again with some energy, I changed my plans. I tackled the pile.
Perhaps it only took me an hour to clean it up. Perhaps two. I worked on cleaning up the kitchen at the same time, so I don’t have an accurate reference point. But really, it was not too long, and it was done.
Probably no one who walks into my home will notice the clean counter. Probably my children will begin making another pile there. But for just a minute, I am celebrating a small victory in a depression-laden week, when I was able to triumph over myself and make my home a little lovelier.
Life doesn’t work out in a neat, seamless package just the way we want it. There is a clean counter one minute and then a challenging conversation with a child another minute. But I know God is there helping me, that He loves me and is nurturing me despite my imperfect efforts.
One of my sisters texted me a scripture today, Alma 37:23,27:
But behold, my limbs did receive their strength again, and I stood upon my feet….
And I have been supported under trials and troubles of every kind, yea, and in all manner of afflictions…; yea, and I do put my trust in him, and he will still deliver me.
Today I feel like Alma: my limbs are receiving strength again, and I am being supported in my trials.