Try as I might, I have not gotten back to writing to you lately. School started, along with company that came, a new (additional) church calling, the rearranging of the family schedule that always happens at the start of school, and marathon training, which takes more time than I imagined. Lots of good stuff going on, just not lots of writing time.
It’s all good.
I have had some days when I felt overwhelmed, for sure. These are often tied to hormone changes (joy!), and so mostly if I just ride out the wave, I resurface unscathed. But during the time when I feel like I’m underwater–like I’m raising my hand and crying out, “I’m drowning!” –it’s pretty discouraging. I just want to climb into bed and stay there until I feel better.
Life is like that sometimes, right?
Well, I was talking to my missionary daughter about this very thing: what to do when you don’t have ANY energy or ANY motivation and your emotions are right at the surface, so that if someone asks you the wrong question (or any question, depending!), you answer as fast as possible and leave so that you don’t burst into tears.
I thought almost immediately of the story of Nephi and Lehi in prison, when the walls came “a-tumblin’ down,” and the people who witnessed it who were immobilized by the dark cloud and the fear that possessed them. The Nephite man, Aminadab, responded to their cries to know how to be freed from their immobilized state:
“You must arepent, and cry unto the voice, even until ye shall have bfaith in Christ, who was taught unto you by Alma, and cAmulek, and Zeezrom; and when ye shall do this, the cloud of darkness shall be removed from overshadowing you.
“And it came to pass that they all did begin to cry unto the voice of him who had shaken the earth; yea, they did cry even until the cloud of darkness was dispersed.” (Helaman 5:41-42)
This works for me, every time. When I get to that point of desperation–so hungry for help like those baby robins, I literally cry to the Lord and plead for help. Without fail, some kind of help comes.
It did today.
The cloud will lift. Christ is real.