Taking a closer look at weaknesses, and why I write

Yesterday morning I woke up right before my alarm was to go off at 4:55 am and went to be sure Sarah was up. She flew in very late the previous night from D.C. by way of Orlando, gratefully being able to land in Florida before Hurricane Irma would got there. Lane and Peter picked her up at the airport and all of them got to bed after midnight (after 2 am her time). I had gone to bed sometime around 9:30 pm, gratefully. So for me, it was much easier to wake up.

Sarah got ready, and we drove together to her first medical school interview. After finding the link on her tablet for directions to her destination, I shared a scripture and then we went over sample interview questions that she had found on the internet. I asked her the question, and she would respond as she drove. We also went over some general question types, such as, “What are your greatest weakenesses?”

I couldn’t help but think about Ether 12:27 and a quote from President Eyring who said “Those who do not see their weaknesses do not progress.”

She shared what she felt were some of her weaknesses. As a mother, I could concur that I had seen what she mentioned in her actions at times. I also felt so grateful that she could be seeing those weaknesses now, because I continue to learn that seeing my weaknesses and mistakes is a stepping stone to making the very changes I need to make in order to be happier in my life. And I also had to share how I felt those weaknesses were going to help her.

So this morning I was praying and thinking about some of my weaknesses. Here are a few:

  1. I have a hard time wanting to be friends and reach out to people who have hurt me. This makes it hard for me to enjoy some of my relationships.
  2. I can be quick to judge.
  3. I am late a lot. I often try to do too many things in too short of time.
  4. I don’t track what I spend and don’t keep a budget well.
  5. I don’t always think of others first.
  6. PRIDE!

These are just some of my weaknesses.

Here’s what is great about what I feel that Heavenly Father has been teaching me:

  • It is okay to have weanesses, and it’s okay not to work on every weakness all at the same time.
  • I don’t have to master everything right now. There is time to work on every weakness, one step at a time. He is really, really, really, patient and is perfectly fine with me making mistakes and learning. It’s okay if it takes me a really long time to learn to become the way I desire to be. He knows how much I want to be on time, perfectly loving, completely balanced, utterly self-disciplined, etc.
  • Service to others opens my eyes to things that I didn’t see before, both about myself and about others. I learn how I could live in kinder, more thoughtful ways. I loved this phrase that I read this week from Dieter F. Uchtdorf: “Selfless acts of service and consecration refine our spirits, remove the scales from our spiritual eyes, and open the windows of heaven.” I saw this most recently when so many people helped us with our backyard and wedding/open house preparations.
  • These weaknesses increase my compassion for others. They help me see Heaven’s hand in my life so much more clearly. For example, seomtimes when I’m late, I see that Heavenly Father has helped other circumstances so that things still work out. It is as though He recognizes my imperfect but sincere efforts to be on time and manage myself, my family and our full life.

Most of all, especially because my number one goal for 2017 has been to learn about being gentle, I have felt how gentle Heavenly Father is with me. I feel like He is so happy letting me learn and grow without feeling rushed or pushed. He isn’t angry with me when I make mistakes. He rejoices with me when I learn. He loves it when I keep trying, even (especially?) when it’s hard or I fail.

One message I wish I could share most with others about my blog is that I am not an expert at anything. I’m not in any way more special than anyone else. I’m simply recording my observations and my witness of how God is working in my life. He’s raising me. I’m one of His amazing children. And you are one of His amazing children, too. I hope my sharing my perspective on my life can somehow encourage you in yours. That’s why I write.

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